Tuesday, January 03, 2006
The 20th Offline Meet: 30th December 2005
Quizmaster: Avinash Mudaliar
Venue: Rajib's Place
This quiz is also known as the log fire quiz! :-)
-----------------------------------------------
Guys, you have to read between the lines, add 2+2 and come up with
4.01, understand innuendo etc. etc.
Also, please make a note that 'sarve' means 'wood' in Kannada.
Since this is a unique writeup, it is being featured first.
Balance writeups will appear tomorrow, at the same time.
Stay tuned!
Prakash
=======
*******************************
***AVINASH'S OFFLINE WRITEUP***
*******************************
As the usual suspects lay in wait for the Bangalore Quiz Group's New
Year Quiz...This is a re-telling of the processes which occurred in
the deep recesses of the background or is that back yard.
3 Days before the quiz:
-----------------------
Rajib: Hello
Avinash: Hi, dude... Wassup?
Rajib: Have you finished setting the quiz?
A: Nearly, why?
Rajib: Hmmmmmm
A: Why...
R: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
A: Why!!!!!
R: Hmmm..Pummpa...Hmmmma ....Pummmmpaa..Hmmmmmmmmmm
A: Hey, Wassup, da?
R: Dude, we have a small problem.
A: What?
R: No, no, its really small...minute...miniscule...molecule...atomic...
A: If it is that small, why don't you tell me about it?
R: Actually, it's cathodic
A: What?
R: No probs, I'll take care of it.
A: But, what exactly is it?
R: My TV is just cracked up. It refuses any kind of transmission.
Antennal, intra-venal or otherwise. I see no rays of hope.
My TV is not working, dude...My TV is not
functional...dysfunctional...kaput....transsexual...oops....forget
that. It just came with the flow... (Tears...)All my Friends, my
neighbor's desperate housewives... All of them, have left me.
A: Rajib, you call that a small problem. Man, I can understand how you
feel...This is mammoth...gigantic...bigger than gigantic...This is a
"I need to reach my hands on the thesaurus for synonyms" kind of a
situation.. Especially, since I don't have neighbors who are married.
R: Avinash, I understand, how you feel. I see that you understand how
I feel...
A: But inspite of all this feeling and understanding, how do we solve
this?
R: Hmmmmm
A: Hmmmm...What Rajib?
R: Dude, did you just realize, what has just happened? I mean, the
magnitude if it all, et al
A: (Trying out his Bogie impersonation) Yeah, your tube's gone kaput
and I don't see how we are gonna be seeing the quiz, eh?
R: No... Its bigger than that... We have understood each other. You
understand how I feel about these feelings and vice versa...This is
the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
A: Boss, that was supposed to be my line...I am the one playing Bogie!!
R: So, what do we do?
A: Hmmmm
R: Hmmmmmmm
A:Hmmmmmmmmm Tummmmm..ding ding daaa daaa, ding ding daa daa..
R and A together decide to call on the High Priest of the
congregation, Prakash....
Scene Ends....
Act 11
------
Rajib: Hi Prakash
Prakash: Hi Avinash
R: Prakash, we might have a problem without the TV
P: Yeah
R: So what do we do?
P: C'mon Rajib...I think Avinash and you are experienced enough to
come up a solution.
R: Actually, we can...
P: See...
P: I'm getting a call...Call back if you need anything.
P: Ya, Avinash..
A: Prakaaaash...
P: Avinash, I have already discussed it with Rajib...
A: ok
A: Bye...
Scene Ends....
Now you know why Prakash has different appellations... like the Oracle
of Namahah, The Voice, The Sound of Sanjaynagara, The Guru of Jai-
nagara, The Bullet of the Dodda Bandhooku (Big Gun, in lowly anglical
terms), High Priest etc ...
Avinash and his merry men sit with his TV, some video and audio
cables, with inputs from Goldie (aka the Oracle of IBM) trying to
figure out different ways to make this work. And it did...after a few
software downloads, a few lines of code to make the software compatible...
That is another story...
------------------------
P.S. Meanwhile, Rajib was up to some mega - networking, which none of
us were aware of...More about it in Scene X line - XXX
P.S. II : Goldie (aka the kind soul, one really needs to meet him, to
know him) continuously linked up, genuinely concerned, and helped (as
usual: Help and Goldie are synonyms in the OED, or check out the HELP
menu on your machines!) us with words of encouragement.
The Day before D-Day
--------------------
Prakash: Hi Avinash, Good Morning...How are you placed today?
A: I'm okay, do we need to something specific?
P: Yes, the time has come...
A: For what?
P: For us....
P:To go and pick up wood
A: What?
P: The fuel that consumes all...the basis of fire... the element that
makes us hot... the wood.
A: blink....blink...
P: For the log fire, dude
A: laughter...Cool...Where do we need to go?
P: I know the place. But we need to survey.
A: Okay, will come and pick you up post lunch
Post Lunch...
Prakash, his relative Gopi, an expert in all things wooden and me go
to the log house
At the log house: The Survey for Sarve
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A: Saar, wood beku (We need wood.)
Lord of the Log Manor: For what?
A:(Tempted to say a million things)
P: For a log fire
A: Yeah, for a logfire...(We wanna heat our booties)
LoLM:How many kgs?
Gopi provided valuable insights into the time span of a log burning
and how much of wood, we would need.
A: Prakash, we need smoke-less wood...
P: Definitely, At BQG we have always been eco-friendly.
A: Lord, we would need smokeless wood...What kind of wood do you have?
LoLM: We are the lords of all the wood you can survey. We have Jungle
wood, Forest wood, Wood wood...
P: Which of it is smokeless?
LoLM: Hmmmmmmmm
Gopi: Try sarve (survey). Give us 25 kgs of Sarve.
LoLM was displeased .His secret was no longer a secret... We knew the
right logs to buy. He was distraught. He delved into the heathen
depths of his logworld and appeared with the most potent of sarve
doubled with some chakke (bark). It looked like
we had asked 25 pounds of his flesh. His act beat all the wood
merchants of Venice (make that, Arsikere).
Glances were exchanged.
Then hard cash was...His face bore a wooden look.
A: Boss, do you have any Sandal wood?
He glared...
We scrammed....
We were ready to light many babies' fires!!
Scene Ends.
D-Day
-----
The day dawned.
BQGers looked at the clocks...
The day cycles couldn't be cut shorter so we waited. It was
evening...It was time.
To cut a long trail short. We got lost...(inspite of map) in the
woods...with the wood... And the TV and us...
Calls were made from one to all, and from all to Rajib. Prathibha
reached first, like a homing pigeon (Prakash's apt words)
Finally all of us got there in one place in different pieces.
Great turnout.
The usual suspects were all there: Suma, Sunil, Goldie, Sudheendra and
the rest of us.
Rajib, the man, had pulled the ace.
He got the best from the best.
Pepsi from Pepsico, Juice from Oranges and Booze from all over
including Scotch from Scotland and not Uncle Scot!
The food was Chinese and need I say, It was from the Chinese (born and
bread in Calcutta to add the Indian flavor!)
But, the biggest coup of all...
He had acquired projection equipment thanks to a friend from Acer and
the best audio equipment, thanks to Japs. Since, it was a small
gathering (large by our standards), he decided to give Amar Bose's
contraptions a miss this time...
Then the Quiz happened. Conducted by yours truly...
Comments on the quiz, welcome...
Brickbats can be aimed at me, bouquets towards BQG and Prakash.
Post the Quiz
++++++++++++++
After food for thought, the imminent next was the thought of food.
Rajib's terraces were marauded by us hungry souls.
The log fire was set to happen, while Rajib and me did a tribal hand
shake...The parts of the anatomy which shook including my belly have
been purposefully edited out.
The fire started. So did the revelry. The wine flowed...Men were floored.
Sunil, Suma and me entertained ourselves with our own brand of humor.
It is essentially a BQG thing. We seem to find something funny in the
most irate of issues.
We found the fire slightly tepid. I decided to heat 'em timbers! The
petrol was poured into the fire. And I had first taste of a Molotov
cocktail. The bottle I held had caught fire! It was my first taste of
revolution! I felt the red of the Red Flags in my veins...
Actually, I didn't have time to feel anything of that sort but I guess
it must be the closest I ever got to throwing petrol bombs...
Later, Anand Rao and me dealt with mechanics of the firing embers by
providing a healthy, fuel for the heart and the fire alike. It was
also a healthy experience in brand burning!
Saffola was the brand. Other brands burnt included DH, ET, TOI etc...
Rajib had hidden his favorite magazines!
The fire was great. We settled down to some memorable banter and
leg-pulling.
The clock struck thirteen. We left for home...Our feet and hearts
warm...while Rajib was last heard asking for numbers of horologists...
We met again the next day...and the next...
But that is another story.
Happy New Year!
The memory remains....
Thanks all
Avinash Mudaliar
Venue: Rajib's Place
This quiz is also known as the log fire quiz! :-)
-----------------------------------------------
Guys, you have to read between the lines, add 2+2 and come up with
4.01, understand innuendo etc. etc.
Also, please make a note that 'sarve' means 'wood' in Kannada.
Since this is a unique writeup, it is being featured first.
Balance writeups will appear tomorrow, at the same time.
Stay tuned!
Prakash
=======
*******************************
***AVINASH'S OFFLINE WRITEUP***
*******************************
As the usual suspects lay in wait for the Bangalore Quiz Group's New
Year Quiz...This is a re-telling of the processes which occurred in
the deep recesses of the background or is that back yard.
3 Days before the quiz:
-----------------------
Rajib: Hello
Avinash: Hi, dude... Wassup?
Rajib: Have you finished setting the quiz?
A: Nearly, why?
Rajib: Hmmmmmm
A: Why...
R: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
A: Why!!!!!
R: Hmmm..Pummpa...Hmmmma ....Pummmmpaa..Hmmmmmmmmmm
A: Hey, Wassup, da?
R: Dude, we have a small problem.
A: What?
R: No, no, its really small...minute...miniscule...molecule...atomic...
A: If it is that small, why don't you tell me about it?
R: Actually, it's cathodic
A: What?
R: No probs, I'll take care of it.
A: But, what exactly is it?
R: My TV is just cracked up. It refuses any kind of transmission.
Antennal, intra-venal or otherwise. I see no rays of hope.
My TV is not working, dude...My TV is not
functional...dysfunctional...kaput....transsexual...oops....forget
that. It just came with the flow... (Tears...)All my Friends, my
neighbor's desperate housewives... All of them, have left me.
A: Rajib, you call that a small problem. Man, I can understand how you
feel...This is mammoth...gigantic...bigger than gigantic...This is a
"I need to reach my hands on the thesaurus for synonyms" kind of a
situation.. Especially, since I don't have neighbors who are married.
R: Avinash, I understand, how you feel. I see that you understand how
I feel...
A: But inspite of all this feeling and understanding, how do we solve
this?
R: Hmmmmm
A: Hmmmm...What Rajib?
R: Dude, did you just realize, what has just happened? I mean, the
magnitude if it all, et al
A: (Trying out his Bogie impersonation) Yeah, your tube's gone kaput
and I don't see how we are gonna be seeing the quiz, eh?
R: No... Its bigger than that... We have understood each other. You
understand how I feel about these feelings and vice versa...This is
the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
A: Boss, that was supposed to be my line...I am the one playing Bogie!!
R: So, what do we do?
A: Hmmmm
R: Hmmmmmmm
A:Hmmmmmmmmm Tummmmm..ding ding daaa daaa, ding ding daa daa..
R and A together decide to call on the High Priest of the
congregation, Prakash....
Scene Ends....
Act 11
------
Rajib: Hi Prakash
Prakash: Hi Avinash
R: Prakash, we might have a problem without the TV
P: Yeah
R: So what do we do?
P: C'mon Rajib...I think Avinash and you are experienced enough to
come up a solution.
R: Actually, we can...
P: See...
P: I'm getting a call...Call back if you need anything.
P: Ya, Avinash..
A: Prakaaaash...
P: Avinash, I have already discussed it with Rajib...
A: ok
A: Bye...
Scene Ends....
Now you know why Prakash has different appellations... like the Oracle
of Namahah, The Voice, The Sound of Sanjaynagara, The Guru of Jai-
nagara, The Bullet of the Dodda Bandhooku (Big Gun, in lowly anglical
terms), High Priest etc ...
Avinash and his merry men sit with his TV, some video and audio
cables, with inputs from Goldie (aka the Oracle of IBM) trying to
figure out different ways to make this work. And it did...after a few
software downloads, a few lines of code to make the software compatible...
That is another story...
------------------------
P.S. Meanwhile, Rajib was up to some mega - networking, which none of
us were aware of...More about it in Scene X line - XXX
P.S. II : Goldie (aka the kind soul, one really needs to meet him, to
know him) continuously linked up, genuinely concerned, and helped (as
usual: Help and Goldie are synonyms in the OED, or check out the HELP
menu on your machines!) us with words of encouragement.
The Day before D-Day
--------------------
Prakash: Hi Avinash, Good Morning...How are you placed today?
A: I'm okay, do we need to something specific?
P: Yes, the time has come...
A: For what?
P: For us....
P:To go and pick up wood
A: What?
P: The fuel that consumes all...the basis of fire... the element that
makes us hot... the wood.
A: blink....blink...
P: For the log fire, dude
A: laughter...Cool...Where do we need to go?
P: I know the place. But we need to survey.
A: Okay, will come and pick you up post lunch
Post Lunch...
Prakash, his relative Gopi, an expert in all things wooden and me go
to the log house
At the log house: The Survey for Sarve
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A: Saar, wood beku (We need wood.)
Lord of the Log Manor: For what?
A:(Tempted to say a million things)
P: For a log fire
A: Yeah, for a logfire...(We wanna heat our booties)
LoLM:How many kgs?
Gopi provided valuable insights into the time span of a log burning
and how much of wood, we would need.
A: Prakash, we need smoke-less wood...
P: Definitely, At BQG we have always been eco-friendly.
A: Lord, we would need smokeless wood...What kind of wood do you have?
LoLM: We are the lords of all the wood you can survey. We have Jungle
wood, Forest wood, Wood wood...
P: Which of it is smokeless?
LoLM: Hmmmmmmmm
Gopi: Try sarve (survey). Give us 25 kgs of Sarve.
LoLM was displeased .His secret was no longer a secret... We knew the
right logs to buy. He was distraught. He delved into the heathen
depths of his logworld and appeared with the most potent of sarve
doubled with some chakke (bark). It looked like
we had asked 25 pounds of his flesh. His act beat all the wood
merchants of Venice (make that, Arsikere).
Glances were exchanged.
Then hard cash was...His face bore a wooden look.
A: Boss, do you have any Sandal wood?
He glared...
We scrammed....
We were ready to light many babies' fires!!
Scene Ends.
D-Day
-----
The day dawned.
BQGers looked at the clocks...
The day cycles couldn't be cut shorter so we waited. It was
evening...It was time.
To cut a long trail short. We got lost...(inspite of map) in the
woods...with the wood... And the TV and us...
Calls were made from one to all, and from all to Rajib. Prathibha
reached first, like a homing pigeon (Prakash's apt words)
Finally all of us got there in one place in different pieces.
Great turnout.
The usual suspects were all there: Suma, Sunil, Goldie, Sudheendra and
the rest of us.
Rajib, the man, had pulled the ace.
He got the best from the best.
Pepsi from Pepsico, Juice from Oranges and Booze from all over
including Scotch from Scotland and not Uncle Scot!
The food was Chinese and need I say, It was from the Chinese (born and
bread in Calcutta to add the Indian flavor!)
But, the biggest coup of all...
He had acquired projection equipment thanks to a friend from Acer and
the best audio equipment, thanks to Japs. Since, it was a small
gathering (large by our standards), he decided to give Amar Bose's
contraptions a miss this time...
Then the Quiz happened. Conducted by yours truly...
Comments on the quiz, welcome...
Brickbats can be aimed at me, bouquets towards BQG and Prakash.
Post the Quiz
++++++++++++++
After food for thought, the imminent next was the thought of food.
Rajib's terraces were marauded by us hungry souls.
The log fire was set to happen, while Rajib and me did a tribal hand
shake...The parts of the anatomy which shook including my belly have
been purposefully edited out.
The fire started. So did the revelry. The wine flowed...Men were floored.
Sunil, Suma and me entertained ourselves with our own brand of humor.
It is essentially a BQG thing. We seem to find something funny in the
most irate of issues.
We found the fire slightly tepid. I decided to heat 'em timbers! The
petrol was poured into the fire. And I had first taste of a Molotov
cocktail. The bottle I held had caught fire! It was my first taste of
revolution! I felt the red of the Red Flags in my veins...
Actually, I didn't have time to feel anything of that sort but I guess
it must be the closest I ever got to throwing petrol bombs...
Later, Anand Rao and me dealt with mechanics of the firing embers by
providing a healthy, fuel for the heart and the fire alike. It was
also a healthy experience in brand burning!
Saffola was the brand. Other brands burnt included DH, ET, TOI etc...
Rajib had hidden his favorite magazines!
The fire was great. We settled down to some memorable banter and
leg-pulling.
The clock struck thirteen. We left for home...Our feet and hearts
warm...while Rajib was last heard asking for numbers of horologists...
We met again the next day...and the next...
But that is another story.
Happy New Year!
The memory remains....
Thanks all
Avinash Mudaliar
# posted by THE SEVENTH SENSE @ 12:03 PM 
